Jesus is my Shelter

August 6, 2023

I was homeless at one point in my life. I don't remember how old I was, maybe 21? Anyway, I was pretty young and I had my oldest son with me. I had bounced from couch to couch for a while with his father and one day it just became too much. Well really, I was told to leave by my younger brother and his girlfriend. I was crashing at their place for a few weeks and it was just time to leave. I was a mess, I didn't have a job and I had no ambitions whatsoever. I was a bum with a baby, and it was time for me to leave. I searched for women's shelters in Cleveland (that's where I lived at the time), and I had two choices; Laura's Home and the Salvation Army in downtown Cleveland (I've been there too). I called Laura's home to see if they had a bed available, and they did, so I went the next day.

I packed my things and my baby's things and I left. My brother's girlfriend gave me a ride over to the shelter and it was time for a new chapter in my life. I'll admit that I was terrified, I had never been on my own with my son, let alone in a homeless shelter. The reality hit me when I had to turn over my things to be washed before I could go to my room. I was in a homeless shelter. I was completely alone with my baby boy, in a shelter. Looking back, I can see that God was with me in that phase of my life. I was blessed to have my own room, an opportunity to get a job and eventually an apartment of my own. There were many days that I cried myself to sleep. I didn't feel like God was with me, I was alone and my son's father was out doing whatever he wanted without the responsibility of taking care of a baby.

My friend's boyfriend was really kind to give me an MP3 player with lots of music that I have come to love and also a few albums from my favorite band, Kings Of Leon. Whenever I was doing my daily chores, I would turn to "Because of the Times" or "Come Around Sundown", and I would just dissociate. My reality wasn't an issue anymore, I had music to keep me occupied. I didn't know I had Jesus with me too. I didn't know He was carrying me through that storm. I didn't know that shelter was a blessing and safe space for me. The other day I was taking a shower, and it dawned on me that I was placed there as a means of learning who God was. I didn't know it would take me 12 years to see that God was protecting me. Laura's Home is a Christian shelter, so they would have church services every Wednesday and I think on Sundays, too. I only went to one service, but I know I was there for a reason.

Jesus protected me and my son from any harm that could have happened to us outside of that shelter. Jesus was there holding me every night as I cried myself to sleep. Jesus was sitting with me every time I felt lonely or suicidal. Jesus was with me through it all, Jesus was and is my shelter. I hate that it took me so long to see that, and at the same time I'm so grateful that I know He was there. I sometimes get mad at myself for leaving that shelter before it was time to. I wanted to be with Johnathon's dad, and I wasn't thinking about what God had planned for me. I wasn't thinking about what was best for my son or myself. I just wanted him. I was so dumb. When I left, I didn't get another chance to go back and start over. God was still with me, though. He just let me experience life the hard way so I could help someone else make better choices.

If God has you in a storm right now, please don't turn away from Him. God will carry you through that storm and you will be stronger than when you went in. When you are weak, God's grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9). He will never leave you or forsake you. He will never let you just stay in that storm without learning to trust in Him. He is with you always, even if you're homeless. He is with you. I promise you. He promises you.

God loves you.