I didn't know what to title this one

Well the title is correct, I really didn't know what to title this one. It's been hard to formulate the words for a proper post. I've had lots of ideas, but the words weren't forming. I've been doing a lot of reading and even more thinking. My mind feels like it's all over the place, I know you can relate. It's a touchy time for me (PMS, I know TMI), but there is also a bunch happening in my world and it's overwhelming. My son's are in school; I'm working in my local church office; my boss is going on sabbatical; I started a new class that has a bunch of reading and it's extremely time consuming, also I have 2 papers to read for that class; oh and we are potty training my 3 year old son. The list could really go on, but I won't bore you with my life.

Anyway, all these things are going on and all I can do is think about how the more I overthink, the less I trust God. That's what anxiety really is, it's a lack of trust in God. I know I'm going to get a lot flack for that statement, it's okay, I can handle it. I realize there are lots of people who suffer with anxiety, I am one of them. But, seriously guys, it's a lack of trust in God. I was crying, having a mental breakdown about all the work I have to do this week, when the Holy Spirit spoke to me. He told me "You know you're not trusting me with this, right?" He was right, as usual. I wasn't trusting that the Creator of the entire Universe had my back. I wasn't trusting that He would make a way for me to get through everything I had to do this week. That sort of made me cry even more. Nonetheless, I wiped my tears and took a few deep breaths, came to my senses and just printed what I could and formatted my papers. The stuff at work will work itself out, and I can use this time to really start trusting in the Lord.

A lot of times we forget how loved we are, I know I do. I often forget that Jesus died for me and that He sent the Holy Spirit as an advocate and a helper. I forget that God loves me with an unfathomable love. During these moments I like to read and reread Isaiah 43:4 it says

Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored, and I have loved you; therefore I will give men for you, and people for your life. (NKJV)

Because you are precious in my sight and honored, and I love you, I will give people in exchange for you and nations instead of your life. (CSB)

That was just a couple translations of that verse for you. I love that verse, it is packed with God's love and there is so many more verses in the Bible that speak directly of how much God loves us.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His faithful love toward those who fear Him. (Psalm 103:11, CSB)

When reading this verse I know people will read that "fear" part and think to themselves "why would I fear God, do I need to be afraid of him for him to love me?" Those thoughts would be incorrect. God does not want us to be afraid of Him. Fear in this verse means to love Him, to respect Him greatly, to love him above everyone and everything else. It's the least we could do since He gave His only begotten son for us. He loves us enough to give up His only Son, His precious Son for us. That's a crazy kind of love. And a love worth living for.

I know I sort of went on a tangent there, but at this point you should be used to it, haha. I say all this as a reminder to you and to myself. God loves you and will get you through this. God loves me and will get me through this. He isn't afraid to hear that we need Him. He longs for us to run to Him when we need help; the hardest part is remembering that we need to run to Him first. He is always waiting to hear from His children despite knowing everything we are going through. He still wants to talk to us.

Well, that was a nice pep talk. Let's pray.

Dear God,

Thank you for loving me when I'm the most unlovable. Thank you for always patiently waiting for me to come to you. Please forgive me for my ignorance and for forgetting that you are always willing to talk to me. Thank you for loving me enough to give your only Son for me, I know I don't deserve that kind of love. I love you God. Please help me to fear you with a Holy fear and help me to come to you when I am feeling lost. Help me to remember your Holy Spirit is with me always, and I am not alone in this storm. Thank you Jesus. Thank you God.

In Jesus name,

Amen.