Overcoming Your Past

The devil may have attacked early in your life, but God always had the victory.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens. (Ephesians 6:12, CSB)

What Was Done in The Dark

I have a confession to make, I was molested when I was 7 years old. My parents still don't know, but that's neither here nor there. I was molested by a family friend's son, and a by a female cousin. These memories were buried in the depths of my mind for a very long time until this morning. I was writing in my journal about another situation that had me emotionally disturbed for a few days, then suddenly this wave of memories came flooding in. I remembered my molestations and a few other dark things I hadn't thought of for a long time. For example, I remembered the first time I was exposed to pornography after being molested, the first time I watched porn on my own, and the first time I walked in on my parents doing things that should have warranted the door being closed, the first time I engaged in sexual sin willingly, etc. All these things pointed to a the reality of a very dark history I totally forgot I had. On top of my already traumatic upbringing (see Joy in the Mourning post), I had this array of sexual sin being tossed in my lap. The devil was really trying to capture my soul at a very young age. I came into agreement with demonic contracts before I ever knew who God was. That's what he does, he places huge barriers in your life at a young age, especially if you are not being raised in a God fearing home, but sometimes even more so if you are raised knowing God. Satan doesn't care if your parents take you to church or not, he just wants to kill your innocence, steal your childhood by stunting your mental emotional development, and destroy any chance of you ever knowing that God actually loves you. What was done in the dark has now come into the light, and it's time to fight back but this time you have divine help.

I want to make one thing very clear before we move forward, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! What happened to you was not your fault, whoever hurt you had a demonic spirit controlling them and it had more to do with that spirit trying to kill God's Spirit in you. The devil hates us because God loves us. It's so much bigger than you think. We live in a fallen world, and God sometimes allows horrible things to happen because He will use it to save others. That does not take away from His goodness, it just means there was a bigger plan in mind. God knew you would be brought back to Him, and that pain would be made into a beautiful masterpiece where His children would be set free. God knew you would be a mighty warrior for the kingdom, that's why He chose you.

Cancel Those Contracts

When we are sexually molested, we unwillingly become participants in a lifelong demonic contract. If that situation isn't brought to light, we immediately make that sin ours to keep. Now, I realize, at 7 and 8 years old, it can be pretty hard to tell your parents that someone touched you inappropriately. I get it. That's why the devil is so quick to do these things when we are young. He sees the light of God in us and wants to destroy it. So, as adults, we get the opportunity to come out of agreement with those traumas and give God control over our lives again. That sexual sin that was done to us as children becomes the catalyst for a life of sexual immorality, substance abuse, pornography addiction, and the list goes on. Now that you have this information, you get the choice of repenting, rebuking, and renouncing all sexual sin you have actively participated in as well as asking our Redeemer to deliver you from the soul ties attached to you. You may be asking "how do I do that?" well, it's simple. First, ask yourself if you want to keep living the way you do, meaning do you want to stay in this pattern of casual, meaningless sex, with partners that are not following God and do not value you? Do you want to stay in the prison of your mind, locked in solitary confinement with your past? No? Good!

You can repeat this prayer out loud if you want or pray in a way you are familiar.

Father God, I repent for my sexual sins. I have sinned against You and against my body. Please forgive me. Please cleanse me of this sin with the blood of Jesus Christ. Lord, I renounce every demonic contract that I came into agreement with through sex. Satan, you no longer have control or dominion over me or my body. I cancel every demonic agreement that is attached to my bloodline. I am a blood bought child of the Most High God, and I surrender my life to Him. Lord Jesus, please deliver me from the demons that have entered my life through sexual sins committed by others and by me. I no longer want to live this way and humbly ask that Your Holy Spirit fill the empty places and baptize me in Your presence. I give my life to you, Lord. Please use this pain to set others free. In Jesus name, Amen and Amen.

Freedom is Yours

Now that you have been set free, remain free. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you make healthier, more righteous decisions, and ask God to show you the way. I would suggest seeking a therapist because you may still have some healing to do. That's not to say that God can't completely wash away your past, but He may use your past to help others. Read your Bible, that is one of the main ways God speaks to us, He is always speaking, and He wants us to be more aware of His presence. Remember you are never alone. God is literally always with us, that's why He is called Immanuel (God with us). Ask God to make you more aware of His presence in your life. He will do it when you seek Him with your whole heart. Remember, the devil only has the power you give him. If you stay in your past, then you are giving him access to you. When those memories come up , because they will, immediately give them to God. If it's something you need to repent for, repent! If it's something you want to be delivered from, get into the secret place and seek God's face. God created us to be dependent on Him, and that is beautifully comforting. You no longer have to fight the battles in your mind by yourself. You have the Lord of Armies at your side, He will fight for you. Please also remember there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! You cannot be held captive by your past sins unless you allow it.

Find Your Tribe

Find a safe, bible believing community to join. It could be at a local church or on social media. I know of one through the thehoneyscoop.com, or if you're in the Parker, PA area you can join me on Thursday nights at our women's bible study; we are reading What Happens when Women Say Yes to God by Lysa Terkeust (contact me via email for more info, or comment below). The point is to get around like minded people and people who have been through the same things as you who have allowed God to get them through it. Those people can pray for you, fight for you in the Spirit, and help you grow in your walk with Christ. Do not walk alone when you don't need to. We were created to be in community, so take advantage of the beautiful gift God gave us. You also have me, I'm available via email. Eventually I will hold zoom calls and maybe a virtual bible study if that is in Gods will for this platform. If that is something you would be interested in, leave me a comment below.

I love you all so much, and I'm so excited for the healing God will bring you!

Dimisha